I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
...so i touched it.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
