piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
