Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
