she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
