I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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