She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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