Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
