And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
