i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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