the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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