We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
