Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think your dad took our porno
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
