drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
