Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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