Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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