Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
