escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
