Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
