This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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