I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
