Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
