hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am puke
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
