No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
