He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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