Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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