Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
