I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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