OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
