what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
