Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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