It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize