How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
