He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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