He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
