i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
