Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
