Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
