And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
