turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
