he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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