The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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