don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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