i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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