I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
MIDGETS
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