Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
