You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
