Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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