im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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