Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
