i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
