How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
