their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
