6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
